Where to begin when setting goals with your athlete? In my last article, I suggested starting with past goals and asking tough questions to make sure the prior goals were appropriate, attainable, and successful. It is important to evaluate last year’s success before setting goals for the upcoming years.

Goals should be written in the athlete’s own words, in the first person (I will), in their handwriting, and kept in a place where they will see them often.

A proper set of goals is a road map to where the athlete wants to go, all the steps they need to reach along the way, and the daily work (blood, sweat, tears, and hopefully a lot of laughs) that it will take to achieve those goals.

Here are my steps to set goals with athletes:

Pinpoint the Dream: I ask my students to write a short essay (by themselves with no guidance) on their dreams and long-term goals. It need not be grammatically correct or specific in length. The goals must be “the athlete’s” and not your interpretation or assumption of them as their parent or coach. You’ll be surprised at what they come up with when not prompted by an adult!

Define the “Target”: The athlete needs to know the long term goal. What do they want to achieve, and by what age? All goals should be written in the present tense or use the word “will”, and avoid the phrase “wants to”. When a student of mine wants to play collegiate tennis, the goal is “Target 18~ Susy will play Division 1 Tennis at the age of 18”. When a student wants to play professional tennis after college, the goal is “Target 24 ~ Susy will be Top 50 WTA Tour at the age of 24”.

Research the Steps to Get There: The athlete needs to know the steps along the pathway to keep them on track to achieve their goal. Create a timeline to have a visual picture. What tournaments do they need to play or win? Do they need to attend showcase camps? What is the appropriate ranking in juniors for their goal? Do they want to be a high school team captain? Are they selected for special teams and awards? Do you have an academic plan? Read 3 Things College Coaches Look for in a Recruit.

Make a Plan – Now that they know the milestones, what do they need to do on a daily or weekly basis to achieve them, one at a time. Read how to Plan Your Athlete’s Schedule Here How many workouts each week? Will trainers or tutors be needed? Create a calendar and map out the week. Don’t forget to plan the rest days and days for family/ socializing outside of the sport. Yes, they are just as important as the training days. Read the Best Kept Secret article here. Being organized can help to avoid burnout and overtraining.

Celebrate Achievements Along the Way– Enjoy the process. If your young athlete isn’t able to have fun and enjoy what they are doing, then they need to re-think the path. Make sure you celebrate their accomplishments when they reach one of the milestone steps.

Athlete Must Take Ownership of Their Goals– The parent’s role is to support their child’s goal and hold them accountable to it. Remind them along the way if their decisions are not aligned with their goals. If the parent is micromanaging the athlete, they will never make it! I tell parents that if the teenager can’t organize their practices and workouts or put in the effort needed without being ridden or continuously reminded, how do you expect them to organize their game strategy and mental skills to compete on the court by themselves?! Micromanaging will only hinder their abilities to compete.

Don’t Be Afraid to Change the Path– Don’t get stuck with goals that meant something at 14 but, at 16 years old, they don’t make sense anymore. Rarely do people know what they want to do with their lives at a young age. Think back to what you wanted to do when you were 14. Is that what you are doing now? Remember that sometimes the goal hasn’t changed, but the pathway needs to be adjusted. Don’t get stuck and listen to your athlete!

When one of my sons was young, his goal was to play golf at Stanford. He worked very hard and improved his scores as he had planned, but he also loved playing basketball and baseball. As he was preparing for high school, he realized in order to play golf at the collegiate level, he would have to stop playing other sports and possibly go the route of homeschooling. As much as he loved golf, he wasn’t willing to give up everything else. He became a 3-sport athlete in high school and is now playing football in college. We bypassed a few tough teen years by listening to him and changing the path.

It is the athlete’s job to “own” their goals, know the milestone steps needed to reach the goals, and the daily discipline required to get there.

It is the parent’s job to help the athlete map out their goals and hold them accountable with good decisions along the way. You will need to encourage and support them through the setbacks (and there will absolutely be bumps in the road) and scale back if you see burnout or injuries. If there are a lot of conflicts, then help the athlete re-evaluate the goals to see if there is an alternative path.

The process isn’t always easy, and raising athletes is certainly no picnic, but remember that they are building character and learning a lot of life skills that will be needed later in life.

In my next post, I will have an eBook download to take you through the process step by step with templates and examples to make it even easier. Please email me with any creative ways you have set goals with your athletes. I am always looking for new ideas!

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